In the modern parenting world, the prevailing narrative often revolves around discipline as a necessary tool for shaping well-behaved children. However, a closer look reveals that many modern parenting practices, even those claiming to be gentle, often rely on subtle forms of coercion and manipulation. Empowered parenting is a new paradigm altogether.
The aim for “good behaviour” as the outcome is not the goal of an awakened parent. The goal for the awakened parent is that their child’s sovereignty is intact and they know they are unconditionally loved, protected, and initiated into life.
The authoritarian approach to child-raising has lasting effects on a child’s sense of sovereignty and personal agency, leading to deep subconscious feelings of insecurity and inadequacy in adulthood.
The Coercive Nature of Traditional Parenting
Traditional parenting often employs disciplinary methods that, at their core, rely on coercion and manipulation. Time-outs, rewards, “if-then charts”, and punishments may seem harmless, but they subtly communicate to children that their actions are only valued when they align with the expectations set by their parents. This approach undermines a child’s autonomy, fostering a mindset of compliance rather than understanding.
Authoritarian Parenting and Adult Insecurities
Children raised in an authoritarian environment grow up feeling the need to constantly seek approval and validation from authority figures. This ingrained desire for external affirmation can lead to adult insecurities, as individuals struggle with self-worth and are prone to comparing themselves to others. The impact of coercive discipline becomes evident in the challenges faced by adults who were raised under such parenting practices.
Gentle Parenting Unveiling Hidden Coercion
Even some contemporary approaches, such as “gentle parenting,” are not immune to coercive elements. While these methods advocate for empathy and understanding, they may inadvertently exert pressure on children to conform to a specific set of behaviors deemed acceptable by their parents. The subtle coercion in these approaches may still hinder a child’s development of true autonomy and self-expression.
The Importance of Empowerment
Instead of relying on coercive tactics, parenting must aim to empower their children to make choices, express themselves, and learn from their experiences. By fostering an environment that values autonomy and encourages open communication, parents can help their children develop a strong sense of self-worth and confidence.
In order to create a truly nurturing and empowering environment for our children, it’s crucial to reevaluate disciplinary practices and focus on building a strong rapport with children through unconditional love and a sacred sense of trust in their own process.
The impact of coercive discipline on a child’s development is substantial, and as an alternative, parents can employ life-style strategies that foster connection and empower their children. Here are eight ways to build conscious connection with your children.
Investing in Conscious Connection
- Quantity + Quality Time: Prioritize quantity family time while curating an atmosphere of quality and intention. Learn to live together, and stop out-sourcing childcare/education. It takes a substantial investment of real-life time together to build the foundation for a truly trusting relationship.
- Active Listening: Engage in active listening to understand your child’s thoughts and feelings. Allow them to express themselves without judgment, creating a space where they feel heard and valued. Release your need to provide a “teachable moment”. Your life speaks louder than your words, and your child already knows what you think.
- Establish Consistent Rhythms: Children thrive on rhythm, as it provides stability and predictability. Establish consistent daily rhythms that include moments for intentional connection, such as family meals and mindful bedtime rituals.
- Shared Activities: Engage in activities that interest both you and your child. Whether it’s a hobby, sport, or creative pursuit, participating together fosters a sense of camaraderie and shared joy. Do interesting stuff together!
- Open Communication Channels: Encourage open communication by creating an environment where your child feels comfortable expressing their thoughts and concerns. Be approachable and receptive to their ideas and feelings. Share about (age appropriate) things that are important you to you as well! Your children are interested in your process too.
- Respect Individuality: Recognize and celebrate your child’s unique qualities. Respect their individuality and avoid imposing expectations that may stifle their sense of self. Embrace and nurture their interests and passions. Study your child’s human design and get a clearer sense of how you can support their divine path in this lifetime.
- Family Rituals: Establish family rituals or traditions that create a sense of belonging. This could include weekly hikes, monthly outings, or seasonal traditions that strengthen the family bond.
- Mindful Presence: Practice mindful presence by being fully engaged in the moment when interacting with your child. Put away distractions, such as phones or work-related thoughts, and focus on the shared experience at hand.
Conclusion
It is crucial for parents to critically evaluate their disciplinary approaches and strive towards empowering rather than coercing their children.
Just because historically families have practiced discipline and punishment in ways that manipulated the delicate human soul, does not mean we are to continue in this path. As we walk the way of evolutionary ascension as humans, we must do better as we know better. As we approach our parenting in a more conscious way we become aware of inconsistencies that scramble our energetic frequency as parents.
Manipulation and control are the underpinnings of an authoritarian way of life that we need to leave behind if we are to embrace our sovereign potential alongside of our children.
Recognizing the potential long-term consequences of authoritarian parenting will pave the way for a more nurturing and supportive environment, where children can flourish with a sense of autonomy, security, and a healthy self-esteem that lasts into adulthood.
Empowered parenting embraces the process of an older human and a younger human moving to the rhythms of unconditional love and sacred trust over the course of a lifetime.